Ironically, These Reasons Are Proven to Help Ensure Someone’s Success
In our decades of experience, more often than not we’ve found that someone struggling with addiction is resistant to coming to an effective recovery home – even if they want to be sober! The sound of a structured environment is like nails on a chalkboard to the people who ironically need it most. Why is this? Why would they resist the very thing that’s going to ensure their success? And why do successful recovery programs have these structural elements in place?
We hope to shed light on the top 5 reasons that your loved one would resist an environment like New Life House, and why we’ve found these things to set people up for the greatest chance of long-term success in our 33 years of experience.
1) No immediate access to their phone:
The number 1 thing that creates immediate turmoil is the fact that there are no smartphones in the house. Let’s face it, social media addiction is prevalent today, and our smartphones act as a medium to connect with the world around us. However, the problem is this: These devices act as the greatest distraction away from a person’s foundation in recovery, and tapping into the present “here and now.” That’s precisely why we believe that it’s important to restrict access to smartphones. By removing this inhibitive distraction, an individual has the ability to focus on the most pressing issue that’s right in front of them: their recovery. Removing this distraction in a recovery home is truly a blessing because it increases the chances of an individual to engage with their surroundings. The other benefit is that by taking smartphones out of the picture, the person is forced to communicate effectively with their peers.
Preventing Them From Contact with Unhealthy People
By taking the smartphones away, we also prevent a person from contacting their unhealthy and destructive peer group. Let’s face it, their drug dealers and the people they’ve used with are all accessible through that smartphone, so by initially taking it away we can ensure the safety of your loved one, and prevent them from contacting these people who aren’t fighting for their long-term success.
Building Valuable Communication Skills
We know that a lack of communication skills can hinder someone’s ability to live a sober life effectively. Learning to look someone in the eyes, sit across from a table, and interact organically has tremendous benefits. By the time our guys graduate, we see them having built new and open relationships with their families, communicating honestly and maturely, and knowing how to sit with themselves. So, taking the smartphone away forces someone into a habit of communicating more frequently and in a healthier way. We’ve seen this time and time again throughout our program; when someone comes in without the ability to look someone in the eyes and speak their truth, and by the end of our program they can manage a small team of peers to finish a project at hand. This isn’t entirely attributed to just taking the smartphone away, but this crucial component allows a program to integrate effective communication skills into a person’s life.
2) No Job Right Away:
We realize that it’s important to re-enter the workforce in sobriety, the problem is when someone thinks that they should be working their first week after detox. Juggling the responsibilities of employment, sobriety, a community, and life, in general, isn’t an easy task if someone hasn’t integrated the tools to do so. This is why we give our community members a few short months to create a system of values, a necessary foundation in their program, emotional stability and learn about proper work ethic; ultimately to ensure the success of their employment, but first and foremost their sobriety. Our number one concern is helping our guys stay sober; sending someone to work prematurely can be a recipe for relapse if that foundation hasn’t been built first.
3) No Car Right Away:
In our program, a car is something someone earns at a certain point when they can afford to have it, and they are trusted to use it responsibly. By this time, the car is no longer an “escape” mechanism, and it is, in fact, something they can use to better their sobriety and their relationships. If we gave someone immediate access to their vehicle in their first month of recovery, we believe that the risk outweighs the reward, and we have learned over 30 plus years of experience that giving someone too much too son sets them up for failure! We don’t want to overload our guys and take their focus off of their recovery.
4) No Intimate Relationships:
We’ll start by saying that we have had cases where someone was in a healthy relationship with someone that supported their recovery throughout our program. Generally, though, someone struggling with addiction comes in with an unhealthy or detrimental relationship. Especially with young adults in their late teens and early twenties, there is usually a correlation with someone that is dating a drug-user and their tolerance of the behavior. Not letting the guys get involved with intimate relationships is in place to eliminate major distractions and allow an individual to focus on their personal growth. We are not against intimate relationships, we’ve just found that they can be one of the greatest distractions to ones much needed personal development in early recovery. A person needs to focus on themselves, and then pick things back up when they are ready in order to help ensure long-term success. Even in our cases of working with people in committed relationships, their loved one is apt to limit their communication in the first initial months in order to support their loved one finding success.
5) No Unnecessary Internet Access:
The internet is home to countless things that can be detrimental to a person’s recovery. The days of ordering drugs online are here. Craigslist, the dark web, and even social media platforms are all places where a person find and contact someone to sell them whatever it is that they’re looking for. For this reason, and the fact that it’s also a major distraction, we’ve found that success is higher when we limit the internet access of the individual in recovery. The internet is available, but by limiting it to only necessary and healthy endeavors, we can succeed in keeping our recovery home members safe and focused on their recovery at hand.
Take the Proven Route To Save Their Life
Look, an addict wants the easy way out, and time and time again we’ve seen young adults relapse almost immediately upon exiting programs that allow them to do whatever they want. Young adults struggling with addiction benefit greatly from structured environments with these five crucial features, as shown by our 30 plus years of experience. Substance use disorder is a tricky thing to navigate and instill a lifestyle that allows recovery to flourish, so it’s crucial that you utilize someone with proven experience to help save your loved one’s life.