A Mother’s Pain Transformed To Comfort | Addiction Recovery
There’s nothing more painful than loving a son who’s an addict. Moms, you know what I mean…. the tears, the fears, the anger, the guilt, the glimmer of hope to the bottom of despair. The stories and details of our sons’ addictions may differ but they all lead to the same horrific point; will he die? You hit bottom, release the fix it mentality and let him go, only hoping that your son hits rock bottom too. Who would have ever thought that could be good?
Our son entered many, many treatment programs, most of them 30 day controlled inpatient centers that send the addict directly back to their same environment. We came to the conclusion that for our son 30 days to fully grasp sobriety and for all of the changes to occur from within was unrealistic. Our hope for him was not only to stop using but to learn how to live his own full life. Most importantly our son needed to decide if that’s what he wanted and if he willing to work hard to make the critical changes.
Entering New Life House, a sober living community like none I’ve ever seen. When our son was going to enter a 60-day wilderness treatment center they told us that he shouldn’t come unless he was willing to move into a sober house following their program. One recommendation was New Life and after much research and family discussion, our son agreed to the plan and he eventually moved to LA, halfway across the country from us. We all missed him dearly but it was the best thing that could have happened to him and our family.
New Life treats the young men with respect, holds them accountability and over time guides them to understand that vulnerability and real feelings are not something to ignore, hide or be embarrassed about. The structure, support and comradery of the house allowed our son to get his bearings and gain confidence in his new, scary world of sobriety.
One unexpected outcome was the realization of knowing that our son was safe and repairing his life with the help of New Life and the extended community of members’ families. This gave our family the opportunity to step away from our roller coaster, myopic focus on his addiction and we began to live a “normal” life again.
House managers (recovering addicts) and fellow house members with varying months of sobriety provided a home base and the many tools that our son needed to build his own sober life. He’s been successfully using these tools for over 2 years.
Alumni and grateful Mom, Kim B.