28 Feb Work and School in Sobriety
To me work represents a place where I can go and get quick cash to pay off my living expenses such as rent and food. It is absolutely necessary for me to have a job if I want to be self-supporting and not have to use so much of my parent’s money. School represents a place where I can spend years learning and developing skills to put to work into a career field at a later point in time.
This is one of the reasons why it has been important for me to work before going back to school. I get to feel what it is like for the first time in my life to be able to work for my own cash and not just blow it off on drugs. This new kind of responsibility feels great to handle and gives me motivation to add more onto my plate like school.
Another big reason it has been important to work first is to make sure that I would be able to handle a job at the same time as studying for class in early sobriety. When I was using, I went to San Diego State University and had a job that was way too intense for me. I crumbled and ended up quitting the job and stopped going to class. This was because I was not in the right state of mind and was still under the delusion that I could use and handle anything that came my way. I always had a back up plan when one thing went wrong. In this case it was Pharmacy Tech School, which I also ended up leaving from. Now that I am coming up on a year of sobriety, my head is cleared of the insanity and delusion that it was drowning in before. I am attempting this again with the right state of mind and a whole new perception on life that was given to me from A.A. and New Life.
I have been working for a little over 3 months and it has taught me a whole lot about managing my priorities in sobriety. Balancing sobriety and work can be stressful at first, and I learned that I have to always put the house first. I have been paying rent and saving up money, which helps my parents out as well as teaches me how to manage cash. I am glad that I got to experience all that I have in the last few months before starting up school again because I might have been pushing myself with too much too soon. In my experience in the house, I have seen graduates get loaded by filling their lives up faster than they were ready. I enjoy the steady pace that my life is expanding at; it keeps me comfortable enough to stay sane, but pushes me enough to grow. Now I am approaching the next step, which is going back to school, and I am excited to see where it will take me.