The Road To Recovery | A Story Of A Mother’s Love
The path to my son’s recovery was a long one, a path I tried to pave for my youngest child. As a youngster, he was outgoing, unafraid to try anything new and exciting – he showed little fear. I saw his unlimited potential. So when he began to derail his life by drinking, I took it upon myself to fix it. I did not want my child to feel pain. I thought if I made things better, somehow it would go away, that he’d wake up and realize he didn’t need to drink.
I allowed myself think it wasn’t a problem, that it didn’t happen as often as it did, and that from a few bad experiences he’d already had, that he’d drink more responsibly. I figured I could fix things by helping him when he would call for help. I felt that my parenting failures and life choices that affected him were my fault and that I could fix it and take the pain away! Thinking back, I realize he was probably telling me only a tiny fraction of the alcohol-related incidents that he’d had, and that there was no way for him to co-exist with alcohol. My son was a blackout drunk and if he continued on that path, he was going to die. In my sick way, I wanted him to find a responsible way to drink so he could continue to be with the friends he was so close to. After experiencing some family losses, I didn’t want him to lose more people and feel more alone ! Wow. Codependency!
When he reached out in November, two years ago, to tell us he couldn’t continue, I was afraid of so many things! What now? How was I going to make this happen? Turns out it wasn’t about me making it happen. It was his choice to go to New Life, thanks to a recommendation from my daughter’s sponsor, who is a mom of a son who had gone through New Life. She spoke from experience. I trusted this.
It has truly been a new life for him. At first, I was shocked at the restrictions. When I went to visit, I felt I wasn’t able to get private time. He could not use his smartphone. It was weird, but I knew from talking to the staff and the graduates and from what I’d read and the people I spoke to, that it works. Something in their formula works. All the staff members had been through the same process at New Life. They had lived it. So I had to let go and have faith in their system. My system certainly hadn’t worked!
Attending the family events when I could, it was obvious that this was not a program that you graduate from and fly onward with no support. My son thrives on community and friendships. This program offers support beyond graduation in the form of service to others, continued involvement in the community; it provides support that people in early recovery need so much. It helps to solidify their brand new foundation. I find this so valuable and I am deeply thankful for this.