After a myriad of experiments to drink and use like a normal man, the evidence was too clear to deny, that I was powerless over drugs and alcohol. This admission to my innermost self changed the way I live my life today. The fact that I know that I am powerless over drugs and alcohol grants me the willingness to do whatever it takes to stay sober today.
Most of my life, I have been trying to control every single aspect and detail and as a result, things always ended up the way I didn’t want them to. Although I had proven that I couldn’t fully control situations, I still made countless attempts to stay in the control seat. Needless to say, all of these attempts had been futile. I would avoid certain social situations so I didn’t have to experience a negative outcome. Instead of working through imagined rejection, I wouldn’t even engage in interactions.