mother Tag

A Mother describes her feelings and decision making process centered around her son's addiction and recovery.

I never wanted to admit I was an alcoholic because for me that meant I was a failure. I grew up in an upper class home, my dad was the alcoholic and I was never going to be like him.

When my son first got sober it was recommended I try Al-Anon.   It took me a while but eventually I found an Al-Anon meeting that was a good fit for me. And now Al-Anon is an important part of my life.

My time as a New Life House parent gave me so much more than I could have ever expected. I came in emotionally numb and truly not understanding the many facets of Avi’s disease or what my role should be in his recovery. I didn’t have much difficulty letting go: I was playing the tambourine and singing to the Oldies on my way home that first day!
Learning to let go of trying to manage the addiction of a child can seem overwhelming.  It is so counterintuitive for a mother to allow her child to suffer the life altering consequences of the addict's behaviors.  However, the truth is that the more we hang on, the more we are hurting our child and fueling their addiction.
I am ashamed to admit that I knew Shane* was using drugs (he rarely drank) for years before I ever took any action or got honest with myself about his addiction to drugs.  I recall Shane smoking pot around 13 years old and I specifically remember telling myself that at least he is only smoking pot, which I convinced myself at the time was the LESSER OF THE EVILS.  It seemed to me that all young people were smoking pot, therefore I justified it in my mind that there was no harm in it, as long as it was pot and nothing else.