gratitude Tag

S*** HAPPENED.

MAGIC HAPPENED, TOO.

This story is the closest that this nice Jewish girl (uh, woman) has ever come to a Christmas miracle.

I hope its lessons help bring miracles into your New Year.

New years resolutions have always been something that I have tried to practice, only to find them short lived, lasting a week or two at best. There was never a plan on how I would be able to accomplish my resolutions and they were always pretty unrealistic based on the lifestyle that I had been living. It was just an excuse for me to tell myself that I was moving in a direction to do something positive in my life.

So much has changed for the better in the past couple years. I will have two years of sobriety in April, and the closer it gets, the more unbelievable it becomes. Before sobriety I had nothing on the horizon, but now all I can do every day is walk the road in anticipation of what’s coming around the corner. Every day is the start of a new page in a chapter of my life, and around every corner could be a major plot twist.

Holidays are supposed to be fun, special and a time for sharing laughs and memories with family. Unless there's an addict in the house. Then holidays are stressful, sad, maddening and just a couple of weeks one hopes to get through without any major disruption, car crash or arrest.

Going through a sober living taught me a lot about what it means to give back and how I can go about giving back to others whether it is in the sober community or outside of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have learned multiple things about giving back and how it can help benefit my life on a daily basis.

Last Christmas I was unable to be there for my family. Both mentally and physically I did not have the ability to be present. I had just relapsed once again after a 30 day treatment and my life was spiraling deeper and deeper. The morning of Christmas I was unable to wake up due to the chaos I had caused the night before.

In the past I always took the Holidays for granted. It was always viewed as a time where I had to put aside all the things I wanted to do so that I could attend all the family gatherings and functions. I come from a big and loving family so there was always a lot going on and I didn’t ever care to be a part of them. But today I get excited for this time of year because it really means a lot for me to have my family back in my life.