Alcoholism Tag

The road to recovery for me has been a long one. I was sixteen the first time I tried to get sober and twenty-five when I entered rehab this last time.

A loved one finally getting sober can be an exciting time for a family that has watched them struggle again and again trying to put their life together. So much so, that parents can be more eager than their children at times, for everything to get ‘back to normal’.

I have been trying to get sober now for five years and until this time around I was never able to fully grasp recovery. I started using drugs when I was very young. I started out like many others, just smoking weed with my friends, but little did I know it would grow into so much more.

So, my son had to come home for court. This was big. He hadn’t been home yet. The last time he saw our small airport, he was seeing through the eyes of an active addict/alcoholic.  I was a little bit worried, but not much.  After all, since leaving home for rehab in May of 2014, I knew he embraced sobriety and had a very full tool chest that held everything he needed to maintain sobriety.

“Alcoholism and addiction is a family disease”, is a saying that I heard of years ago but didn’t understand what meant, until my family was directly affected by it. Alcoholism as I understand it, is a progressive disease that affects the drinker’s physical as well as their mental well being.

For me, reaching my rock bottom was critical. My friend told me about putting her son in New Life House and I thought she was nuts. I simply could not understand why on earth she would put her son in a program that lasted for such a long time. We were putting our son in a program for six months and he could still attend college because college was very important. Boy, were we wrong!

I was given the opportunity to go to Sonoma County to visit my grandfather over the weekend and flew out with my dad. My grandfather has been battling cancer for 19 years and has always come out on top. He wasn’t expected to see me turn 13, or so I’ve heard. I went up with there with dramatic expectations that I was going to have these deep life conversations with him as if it was my last time seeing him. The reality is, at this point he’s on borrowed time but its not the last time I plan on seeing him.

You don’t have to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting to know that a lot of it centers on the concept of God, or that it’s referred to as a “faith-based” program. For those of us in it, we often refer to it as a spiritual program.

The longer I stay sober, the more I wonder just how and why exactly I have done it. When I was using, I was convinced I was going to live at least some form of that lifestyle forever. I loved it far too much, so why would I give it up?