05 Dec How Sober Holidays Have Impacted My Life
How Sober Holidays Have Impacted My Life
Thanksgiving last year was miserable, I spent last year alone in my room unable to go out to our annual Thanksgiving dinner. I say that I was unable to go, but really I just did not want to go because I had scabs and sores all over my face and body, I felt like I looked and I looked really bad. I did not want to go out of shame and embarrassment, how would that look to show up to thanksgiving dinner with a torn back junkie. I couldn’t bare to let anyone see me in that condition, I couldn’t do that to my mother. So I stayed home while my mother went alone, when she left I got high and checked out from my feelings and the world around me, it was to painful. This year for me is about showing up for my family, giving them a chance to spend time with their son and cousin and nephew whose life they fought so hard for and never gave up on, even when I had given up on myself. Showing them my gratitude for giving me this opportunity to change my life. Last year I was a shell of a person, I was selfish and dishonest. I couldn’t show up for anyone let alone myself. This year I am healthy and sober and for the first time in a long time I am genuinely happy. Its all because my family never gave up on me, and this year I am able to be that son that they lost many years ago. Holidays have always been embarrassing for me, I would have to see and talk to people I haven’t seen since the last holiday and every time I never had a good answer to the same question, “So how are you?” or “What have you been up to?”. I have never had a good answer to those questions till now, and its all due to New Life, and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.