When I was young all of the holidays were very exciting for me. Especially when we had the day off from school. Ever since I could remember Christmas has always been my favorite one. I would count down the days to the 25th. My family and I would always spend Christmas Eve together and we would watch, A Christmas Story, at eleven o’clock. Most of the time I had a hard time sleeping because I was so excited for the next day. There was a point where Christmas became bland and it was not as exciting anymore. Around the time that I started using in fact. I began to distance myself from my family more and more every day. When Christmas came around it didn’t even feel like it was Christmas. I started becoming more and more selfish and soon enough all that mattered to me was substances that would help me escape the reality that I was living a miserable life. The last christmas that I had with my family was the worst of all. I couldn’t tell you what happened due to the fact that I can barely remember it myself. All I know is that I was headed on a path that led to self destruction yet I did not care. I didn’t love anyone and I hated myself. I do not have to live that way anymore. I have been sober since January 28, 2015 and at the time I did not want to be sober at all. Over time and with help I was lead to a place where I was able to give up the control seat. I have friends today that I can consider my brothers because they care about me unlike any friends that I have ever had before. I have a relationship with my family and today that matters to me. Although I am a long way from Ohio, and although it won’t be a “white” Christmas, I have found a place that I can call home. Today I have that feeling that I had when I was a kid back. I am looking forward to hopefully the best Christmas yet.
Last Updated on May 24, 2022