30
Sep

Sharing My Experience

In sharing my experience, strength and hope all I wish is that it reaches the ears of another parent that may be struggling.

My son’s addiction was destroying me, literally.  It was the most painful experience of my life.  I have known about the tools of recovery since 1983, and had searched endlessly as to why I could not surrender and let go of my son.

I did everything a parent could do in trying to save him and was living with the torture that my son was living.  The more I did – the more he was in the depths of addiction.

Through much insanity and several years later while my son was living in the streets six hours away, I had come to terms that I was truly powerless over his addiction and that my life had become unmanageable.  Our family was affected and it was a family disease!

I realized that my son had to reach his own bottom and not mine!  I started attending parent meetings of Alanon listening to parents sharing their stories.  I reread the AA Big Book and an Alanon book called Pathways to Recovery.  I came to the realization how much it was affecting my life physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I cannot tell you I did the program and 12 steps perfectly but I had the willingness to find some serenity and peace.  I must have taken the first step over and over again to date.

I had to look at my reactions and behavior which is all I had control over.  I prayed for a God of my own understanding to have my son have a spiritual awakening.  After taking the first three steps with a sponsor, I wrote an inventory and addressed my character defects.  I listed my fears and resentments and looked at my part. 

Through a series of many events, a miracle came upon us and our son was willing to go to New Life House.  During his recovery, it was brought to my attention that working my program was vital while he was working his.  It was necessary to allow him to do for himself and not try to manage and control his life.  I dislike saying this but I had to come to terms with how much of an enabler I truly am.  It was important to let him do for himself and experience those natural consequences.

I am forever grateful to AA, Alanon, and especially New Life House for guiding my son to become a sober, grateful, humble, and responsible young man. I hope that sharing my experience helps someone else.

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