04 Apr Noticing Changes Within Myself
Since getting sober I have started to perceive myself in a much different way in many aspects of my life. As opposed to the way I was when I was not sober, I now have a lot of hope for my life and I am taking many of my goals and aspirations seriously. When I was busy being intoxicated and doing whatever I could in order to get what I wanted, I did not feel at peace, nor did I have much self-esteem or self worth. I am now able to see things in my life in a new way, due to being absent from drugs and alcohol and being guided by the house and my brothers.
I am now able to see that my life is worth something and I am not a hopeless case. I can tell that there is a lot more to life than what I want for myself and I am able to show up for other people out of love and care, rather than pure selfishness. I see myself as a person with the ability to add to the lives of those around me, rather than a person to just use others and disregard people’s well being in general. When I realize that I am not under the influence and that there are a lot of times when I am enjoying the world around me and I am thankful for my brothers, I realize how off track I was as an individual for so long.
The way that the world works around me is not the way I want it to, and this is something I have had to look inside of myself to find out. Through working this program I am now practicing being content with nothing so that everything else becomes a plus. With this new outlook I can start to be inspired and grateful for things I would have never noticed before, and I do not have to sit in negative emotions and seek out a material substance to boost my view on reality. I can get gratification out of being positive toward the people around me and by trying to get out of myself and help out when I can.
When I was using and drinking I slowly lost interest in many of my goals and aspirations and gave up on improving my life style in general. The point of my life right now is to add more to the world around me rather than trying to manipulate and control it to suit myself. All of this change has been the result of being willing to hear what others have to say. I have noticed that many of the unhealthy ways that I have chosen to live in the past begin to fade, as I focus on putting in effort towards my sobriety. I now am able to take my future seriously and live my life the best I can, one day at a time.