28 Mar Why I Needed to Leave Orange County to Get Sober
I grew up in Orange County with a good family and a great childhood. I lived next door to two guys who were older than me that used and sold drugs who had money, the nice cars and everything else. Right away the lifestyle that I saw they had was attractive to me. I chased that life that I saw them living as I got older. It didn’t take me long at all to start using drugs.
Drugs and alcohol gave me what I wanted out of life. My self esteem was boosted because I thought that people looked up to me the way that I looked up to my neighbors. Not that it is specific to Orange County but, I saw a lot of people who used drugs the way that I did who had their lives put together on the outside. Turning eighteen and already having some life consequences because of my using, I had a twisted perception that I could have a successful life and use the drugs the way that I did because I saw a lot of people make it look like they managed to do so. This was the great obsession that I had been to live my life normally while I had a drug and alcohol problem. I had failed so many times and could not live up to my word with all of the chances that my family gave me to make it work one last time. I had tried anyway possible to make it work but, I always saw something that was the reason why I had failed and it was never me. I always had something or someone to blame for the way that I had crashed and burned.
I left Orange County to go get sober and I was able to do the work to do so. I went back to Orange County after being sober for eight months and within a day I got loaded. I saw that it wasn’t where I wanted to be, I saw my friends doing the same thing they were doing when I left. They still had the drug and alcohol problem and their lives had only gotten worse while mine was getting better. I saw that if I stayed I was only going to do the same thing over and over again and hope for a different result. I didn’t want to live in that insanity of always thinking it was going to be different the next time and after a week run I decided that I needed to move back to Los Angeles to get away from the area I was getting high in for the last seven years.
I know for a fact I wouldn’t be able to stay sober in the same area I got high in because of how readily available it was for me to go get high. I didn’t want to get sober both times at first, but I knew it was what I had to do. I sat on my hands at first and I was able to have a change in perception through doing the work to see their would be no point of going back to Orange County because of the life I have been able to build.