A Mother’s Testimony | Holiday Reflection

A Mother’s Testimony | Holiday Reflection


The holidays evoke many emotions.  Thankfully, for me, most of them are good, but when my son was in the depths of his addiction, things were not so merry.  Worry, anxiety, shame and disappointment were prevalent.  My son’s last Christmas at home was two years ago, approximately a month after attending a 30 day treatment program.  His multiple trips to the garage to get ‘soda’ and his drug king-like appearance accentuated with a thick gold chain clued us in that his lifestyle hadn’t changed.  He might not have been ‘barred’ out on Xanax at the time but he was clearly no longer sober.  He later told me he had no intentions of giving up drinking or smoking.  He thought if he just got off the Xanax and pain pills that things would be okay.  How wrong he was.  The problems soon escalated and it didn’t take very long before the pills were a part of his routine again.  His actions caused chaos in our family, he was failing school and couldn’t hold a job.  I tried so hard to fix, will, shame, control, and help him get his life together, but none of that mattered.  It needed to be my son’s will to take control and make changes to his life.

I am grateful to have found a support group in Al-Anon and a good therapist.  Over time they helped me find the strength to stand in union with my husband and give our son an ultimatum, to get help at New Life House or be on his own.   He packed his backpack, gave his sobbing mom a hug and walked out the door.  I was devastated.  How could he chose drugs and alcohol over his family?  His addiction was in control and he wasn’t ready to fight it yet.  He chose to couch surf, live on the streets and in motels.  It took eight weeks, a suicide threat, fight with his dad, a 911 call and a trip to the hospital in a police car for a possible 5150 hold to finally get him to agree that he needed help.

I am so grateful for New Life House.  I was given hope.  The management and support system are amazing and the growth my son has made through this program is inspiring.  I, too, have learned and grown through this experience.  It wasn’t easy.  My son almost walked out several times, but by the grace of God he was led to stay.  When he called to let me know he had graduated he was very emotional.   I knew then how important this program was to him.  I am so proud of him for not giving up, doing the hard internal work and fighting against his addiction.

I look forward to more good memories and a home filled with family, love, peace and joy.

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