Keeping My Ego Right-Sized

I honestly do not know how to keep my ego right-sized on my own. On my own I think that I am god’s gift to the world. Time after time I convince myself that I am special and that I am an exception to the rules of life but time after time I run into the same wall.

It is not until I tell another human being my mistakes and what is going on in my head that I am brought back down to an even playing field. A lot of the times I will think I am less than and my ego will do anything to protect itself, projecting an image that I am better than. If it were not someone else pointing this out to me and directing me in the right direction, I would go back to thinking that I am not an alcoholic and that I can drink again. There are instances of in-congruence along the way, but step one always helps me stay right-sized. I have to be willing to be honest with myself and look back on situations in my life that prove that I am powerless over drugs and alcohol. I have to admit complete defeat to drugs in alcohol in order to gain willingness to move forward and grow spiritually.

It is when I admit that I am powerless over people, places and things that further growth occurs. I can honestly say to myself that when I do what my will is, then things do not work out. Trying it someone else’s way completely has been the biggest struggle so far. I can get a start on doing it someone else’s way but it is a struggle for me to completely give my life up to a spiritual lifestyle. I constantly think that I have grand ideas but they have not all been so grand after all. Actually taking action with what suggestion is given to me, no matter how dumb I think it is, or if I think my ideas are better, is when I feel okay with myself and I start to experience absence of self-or ego; which gives me freedom.

1Comment
  • Robin Hilton-Folk
    Posted at 16:09h, 10 April Reply

    WOW! What a great reminder for myself, that I am NOT SPECIAL, or an exception to the rule. I admire the writers complete and total honesty. My life ran on self will, is exempt of being lead to do God’s will, exempt of peace and serenity. Thank you for this reminder to help me stay grounded and centered!

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