17 Nov Grateful for A Change This Thanksgiving
“Thanksgiving is coming up, and my life is drastically different than it was at this time last year. I have time sober now, and my life is good. I have a great job, great friends, and am very close with my family that lives in Atlanta, GA. This time last year, I did not have any of these things. I was miserable, plagued by depression and anxiety, hopeless, had just dropped out of college for the second time, quit my job and was selling drugs just to get by. I was living in an apartment with my girlfriend, and every day I would wake up and just smoke weed all day as well as pop Xanax bars and smoke heroin to try to not feel anything. My life was in shambles, and I felt like I was stuck in hell.
Thanksgiving in my home has always been a happy time for my family, full of traditions and company of my extended family. I used to enjoy spending time with my family, but last year that was not the case. Last year, Thanksgiving at my house was just my immediate family, grandparents and one of my sister’s friend’s family. We hosted them for what was supposed to be a fun day of company and a festivities and for everyone else it seemed to be great. For me, it was terrible. I was unable to even look any of my family members in the eye, let alone the other family. I could not handle it, so I ate a bunch of Xanax to try to ease my nerves. I ended up getting messed up, and by the time it was dinner time I felt a little more relaxed. I got a big plate, and it looked and smelled delicious. I ate a few bites and could not eat anymore because I could never eat anything while in my addiction. My mom pulled me aside and asked me what drugs I was on, and I told her nothing. She did not want me to drive home, but I did anyway because I couldn’t stand being at my parents’ house. I went to my apartment and waited for my girlfriend to go to sleep and then hit up my heroin dealer to get some after I had been off it for about a week, swearing to myself never to pick that drug up again. I got some, did it, nodded out on the porch and woke up in a chair the next morning which was how it usually went for me. That Thanksgiving was the beginning of the end, and my life would continue to go downhill over the next month and a half.
I ended up going to detox on the 1st of the year and to New Life a week later. This year has been much better than last. I have learned a lot about myself and have done a lot of work on myself. This Thanksgiving is coming up, and I am so grateful for all that I have. I look forward to spending the holiday with all of my boys and their families. I am super excited about the food and great memories! My life is so good today!”