Like many of us, my beautiful boy David was drowning in the constant cycle of detox and relapse, rehab and relapse, outpatient programs and relapse. What I hadn’t realized was that he had accepted that this would be his future until he was arrested or OD’d. Luckily for us, he was arrested.
I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be happy that one of my children was arrested. It was the beginning of saving his life. Like many of us, as a parent I loved my son to death and not truly understanding the addiction process. I felt that if you just go to rehab, you’ll be cured. Even though I had known about New Life House for years before our son ever went there, I didn’t understand and/or wasn’t ready to accept how serious things truly were.
David’s arrest was the beginning of saving our family unit also. We had become so dysfunctional and didn’t even realize it. I was so preoccupied with all the drama that comes with an addict in the house, that I wasn’t truly seeing how sick our son was becoming. There had been rumors but when I would confront him, he had all the right answers that I would move on and no longer worry.
David moved into New Life House within a week of his arrest and we’ve never looked back. The house has taught us all about addiction and how to live a full and meaningful life being sober. The skills the boys learn in this program are life skills. The boys come into this program sick and dying and not able to function and they walk through their fear, live the 12-step program and become wonderful sober young men who have the skills to cope with everything life has to offer.
Coming up for family meetings and bonding with the boys and their families has meant so much to me. It has become my therapy. The parent meetings have taught me to let go and realize I didn’t cause it, can’t control it and I can’t cure it. This program for me hasn’t been just about getting my son healthy, it’s made me healthier in all my relationships.
Since our son went through the program, I’ve had two nephews that are now dealing with addiction. Like our family, their families have had to come to recovery in their own time. Even though our son graduated a few years ago, he’s still involved with the house and we come up to support a family member. Family involvement is critical to these boys’ recovery and sobriety.
Our relationship with David now is definitely an adult relationship. I can now see the beautiful boy that I used to know and see the wonderful man he has become since going through this program.